Saturday, November 29, 2008

I've Been Tagged.......




I've been tagged by Ema. I guess that's what happens when you start posting more on your blog! LOL....

Ok.....I need to share 7 random or weird thoughts about myself.

1. I'm fiercely protective of my family -- so much that I'll withdraw from others in order to protect them. Kind of like a momma bear! I have this invisible shield around me -- I let most people only get so close. There are only a handful of people that really know me, and most of them I've known for years. One is my girlfriend in Connecticut that I've known since 2nd grade! Trust and honesty is very important to me, especially in friendships.

2. My faith is my stronghold....I've always believed in God. I was raised Catholic in New England, but saw so many disconnects from the teachings of the bible. I've always struggled with finding my way. Finally, after moving South, I've discovered who I am and finally, really like who I am. I am now a self-confessed Jesus Freak...I have become what I once hated. Isn't God funny? I just love it how he uses us and how he changed my once hardened and bitter heart .

3. I gave up coffee 8 weeks ago --- UGH....It's been hard, but necessary in my healing (according to my love/hate relationship with my chiropractor!). In an effort to promote healing, I'm drinking carrot juice 2x a day and eating more raw veggies. Not nearly as bad as I thought it'd be! Weird, yep, but I'm kinda unconventional.

4. I graduated from college at 40! It took me eight years going at night, working full-time in "corporate America" and having a baby during the half-way point. When I graduated, it was the first time I can remember a family member telling me they are proud of me! I believe education is the key to end poverty. Both of my children love to read! And I am so proud of that! Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to be a counselor. Probably because I want to be able to give back and help others through difficult situations. Maybe one day, I'll go back and get my Masters in Social Work or Counseling.


5. I love the outdoors (except when its 100 and humid - August in the South). I love to garden, to hike and be in the mountains. And I can't forget the ocean. My grandmother lived on a island off the coast of Rhode Island. I spend many summer days travelling the ferry back and forth to the island. That island grounds me...it's like coming home. The salt air, the smell, it's like time stopped. Oh....I love it there. It's been 6+ years since i've been there and am aching to go back for a visit (when it's warmer, of course!) .

6. I currently cloth diaper my daugher and also used them on my son. I LOVE THEM! I know that's weird, but they really are addicting. I buy all my products from GMD. I wish I could get some sort of referral discount for how much I promote her stuff -- all cotton and wool -- no bad stuff for the baby! I guess you can say I'm a naturalist at heart -- don't like all the chemicals in disposables and believe fiercely in nursing an infant. Pssst..don't tell my husband how much I spend on cloth diapers -- it dispels the $$ savings argument!

7. I crochet -- kinda goofy, I know. But my grandmother taught me when I was a little girl. Then, in the early 90s, I dated this guy for 4 1/2 years. His mom crocheted and I wanted her to make me an afghan that was absolutely beautiful. She told me she'd make me one if I married her son...I said, maybe you need to teach me how to crochet. I loved his mom - - she was the best.....so ----- she taught me how to read a crochet pattern, and the rest, they say, is history.
P.S. I never did finish that afghan -- all I have to do is stitch it together. Here is what I just finished for Pickles.



















8. I was going to post something, but changed my mind.

9. Today -- when I'm actually posting this post, is November 29th and it is Squeeker's 9th birthday!!! Wow..how did that go by so fast!

10. I'm a grandmom.......Gavin is going to be 6 in Feburary, and Baby G is 4 weeks old!















11. Finally, the last one. Hmmm......I love music. I used to just listen to good old rock and roll. In the mid-80s-early 90s, I used to work for FEDEX as a driver for 8+ years and they called me "Rockin' Robin" because I had it blaring out the windows! Today, I've expanded my horizons and listen to all types of music and can't say I really have a favorite anymore. Just depends on what type of mood I'm in.

I'm tagging April, Tonia, The Robert's Family, Renee , The Albertson's, The Earley's , Eileen Mestas.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Heavy Burden

With Thanksgiving upon us, I've been reflecting back on this most difficult year and trying very hard to focus on what I'm thankful for. With the economy in a tailspin, layoffs everywhere, I can only be on my knees praying, and looking up for an answer. I know that sounds dreary, and depressing, but when you are married to the one who has to make the hard decisions about laying someone off, especially someone you are friends with, it puts a whole new spin on it.

My heart is breaking for those that have lost their jobs, especially those that are close to us. I'm sure we haven't seen or heard the last of the layoffs in the economic state we are currently in, it is just so unfortunate that it has to come during the holiday season.

For us, the holiday season is our slowest.....where cash flow is tighter than normal....and making payroll every week is a struggle. And sometimes, sometimes, you have to choose between making a hard choice, or closing your company completely. I'm not cut out to be a small business owner's wife...I've said it more and more and more these last few weeks as I've watched the stock market tumble, jobless numbers increase, and an economy that is incredibly unstable. Yesterday, an older man came into our office wanting to apply for a job -- I had to tell him we had a lay off last Friday. The look on his face and his body language was heart breaking......it was like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

I almost feel guilty for being thankful, but I am truly thankful for many things:

  • My incredible husband, David, who came through for me in a big way this year! I love you more than life itself sweetie!
  • For my two incredible children, Squeeker and Pickles. This year has been a year of challenges and adjustments, and to see the bond between them makes my heart jump a beat.
  • For my friends......those current and those from the past -- all who have shaped me to be the woman I am today.
  • Of course, for my faith, and my Heavenly Father -- who loves me unconditionally and continues to sustain us, against all odds!
  • My home that I love to return to at the end of each day. I've never had a house that felt like a home to me....and this one truly is my home......my sanctuary.......where I can rejuvenate and feel peace rain over me.
  • My husband's company, although I have a love/hate relationship with owning a business, which continues to sustain us, even in the hard times. (but not without it's own struggles)
  • Freedom....and for what our country stands for......let's pray that our freedom is never taken away from us.

I wish all my friends and family a wonderful and joyous Thanksgiving!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Blogging....The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

I awoke this morning at 4:00am unable to go back to sleep for many reasons. My husband has been away all week on a business trip in Mexico. He was detained an extra day for reasons I won't go into and won't return until sometime late Saturday afternoon. It has been a long week in many ways. Most of you don't know I fell off the swing playing outside with the kids 6 weeks ago and tore 6 ligaments in my neck and upper back and blew at least one disk in the same area. As my mom used to say, "you did a good job, Robin." I never do anything half-way. Gosh, I miss my mom so much. In my husband's absence, I've had to ask for help in caring for my kids around dinner and bedtime. Asking people for help has been incredibly humbling, but seeing the joy it brought others to help me is something I will never forget. True joy comes from helping those in need --and I've experienced that first hand this week as I talked and watched people go out of their way to help me and my kids this week.

This week has been challenging in many ways.....I was raised to be independent -- not to rely on anyone, especially a man. My mom had a tough marriage to my father -- very controlling and oppressive -- he raised my sister and brother the same way. I'm not one to go into all the details, let's just say that years of counseling, great friends that believed in me and my heavenly Father above are the only reasons I am who I am today.

So, with that short bio above, I must say I've been convicted the last few days of transparency, courage, and few other things. During this week, I've had some time to catch up on some blogs that I've been neglecting for various reason.

Our year this year was difficult -- we've had four deaths in our family, and one more in the terminal cancer stage. All of this death has brought up a lot of emotions about losing my own Mom 3 1/2 years ago. Its funny how you think you are "ok," but then another death of a loved one triggers an emotion you really didn't expect. One of the deaths was my dear mother-in-law, Rosemary. Although her health wasn't the greatest, I guess I can say we really didn't see it coming. Her passing was an amazing testament of a Christian woman going home to be with the Lord. I continue to be amazed at the love of our heavenly Father, and saw Faith come alive before my eyes as we watched her take her last breath. Although honored to share this experience with my husband, my sister-in-law, brother-in-law and their spouses, it has sparked feelings in me regarding my own mother's death. My husband and I were on our way back from another family member's death, and I missed my mom by about an hour. Her last words to me the Sunday before was "go, I'll see you on Friday." Well, I saw her on Friday, but she was already gone. So, to experience my MIL pass from this earth to Heaven really evoked a lot of emotion in me. I sit here crying...thinking I had finished the tears for my mother. I guess we really never are done with the grieving process in some way.

So, you are probably saying, what's up with all this "transparency." Last year, soon after we came home from Ethiopia with Pickles, I made an unfortunate post that was taken out of context. I'm not going to repeat the ugly details of the comments I received, but I will say it has hindered me from being tranparent on my blog for fear of the same. In the past week, while catching up with the adoption blogs, I ran across a blog, The Albertson's, that really got my attention. While I'm not sure exactly where I stand on the issue that was raised from the comments, I sat back and digested her posts and comments with great interest.

Blogging has been a great source of comfort for me in our adoption journey. We share feelings that only adoptive parents can understand -- the waiting, the agony, the uncertainy, and a myriad of other emotions I can't put my finger on at the moment from lack of sleep. The support from this community is overwhelming -- most of us can say it has made the bumps (and I use this term lightly -- Intl Adoption has peaks and valleys; it is not for the weak hearted!) - associated with the inherent risks of International Adoption bearable. The joy you receive when you finally hold your child in your arms erases all you went through to get to that point.

With the blessings that come from blogging, unfortunately, comments and emotions elicit emotions in others that sometimes are unkind. First I'd like to say that this is my blog, my feelings -- they are not meant to offend or hurt anyone. I am a kind and compassionate person with a very warped sense of humor -- gosh, I never would have married my husband if I didn't have a warped sense of humor! His sense of humor is worse than mine! Sometimes, our emotions get the best of us, we are passionate about what we think and believe and fight fiercely to protect and defend our stance on certain issues. And sometimes, our words offend and hurt others that don't believe what we do.

With all of this said, I'd like to nominate Becca, for the Courage of Blogging Award. Her willingness to stand up for her opinion regarding caring for the orphan has been a testament of her faith and her experience as a Social Worker in the adoption field. I don't know her personally, only through the blogs, but I would really like to get to know her better since we both share that passion for what we believe in. Like Becca, my husband has also spend time living in Romania for months at a time working with and for the benefits of orphans. He's seen first hand the dires of their circumstances - held children in his arms as they took their last breath from the terrible disease called AIDS, and repeatedly getting news of those he knew that God has taken home from AIDS. I have not had those experiences, but can attest through knowing and loving my husband, how those experiences have shaped him. Our trip to Ethiopia has only given me a brief glimpse of extreme poverty. David lived it....Becca lived it. And of course, these experiences shape who they are and what they believe.

For those of you that have judged Becca, walk a mile in her shoes before you condemn her for her beliefs. I'm not saying I agree or disagree with her thoughts, but I respect them and her courage to take a stand for the orphan - - something ALL Christians are called to do.

So, blogging world, I'm back. If Becca can take a stand, and weather the brutal bashing she's taken -- so can I! My opinions are just that -- my opinions. We all have our own history that has molded and shaped us -- let's try and respect each other's opinions in a way that honors Christ.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Test Post

I'm trying to figure out how to add a hyperlink to a blog using just their name, not the url address...so here goes.

Thank you April.

Let's see if it works!!!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Thursday, November 6, 2008

"Forever" Day, + 4 days

Well, I did it again. I forgot an important date in our family. On November 2, 2007, Pickles joined our family forever. I really don't like the term "gotcha," the common term used in adoption when you finally have your child in your arms. I kind of like the term "forever" better -- because from that day forward, no matter what, we are family.

Family....wow...I used to have such bad connotations with that term. But lately, I've really seen and experienced the true meaning of family. I'm thankful every day for my husband, my beautiful children, my church family, and our dear friends. I've been amazed lately to see them all rally around when you need them the most.

So, to all of you (you know who you are.....), from the bottom of my heart,,,,,,thank you for being there for me, for showing up and helping at a moment's notice. I've been humbled at how many people really care....and how unselfishly they've responded to our time of need.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Happy Halloween




Last night was our first official Halloween with Pickles......A year ago yesterday we were on our way to Addis to pick her up. It seems amazing how much she's grown, and how much we've been blessed to have her part of our family.

Her costume was suppose to be a size 2T -- which should have fit her. She was the last one to get dressed and we struggled and struggled to get her costume on. Finally, we had to cut the feet out of it....I laughed so hard it hurt!

By the way....the guy in the clown costume, is my crazy husband!