REVISED**** Oooopss...forgot the N-600 & and Update on the Kids

I saw this video on another blog and had to share it......I can't imagine watching the horrors of poverty and not being moved to act.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v7ZQUzr0yo

For those newbies to adoption, please, please, please don't do what I forgot to do! I forgot to file for Pickle's N-600 -- which is the form you need to fill out to obtain US citizenship. How could I have forgotten? Hmmm.... could it be our lives were full of other stuff, which would be a great excuse. Honestly, I just forgot. The funny thing is that I felt this nagging feeling that something wasn't right.......like I was forgetting something. I went to our local SS office last week and changed Pickle's name on her SS card. When we first came home, we filed for a SS card after we received her permanent green card. Then we filed for readoption and name change in our local county, waiting 4+ months and celebrated when her file was officially stamped/recorded in Raleigh. I then ordered her Certificate of Identification, the equivalent of a birth certificate. Since she's foreign born, she can't get a "birth certificate" from the US; the CofI is her official "birth document."

So...time ticked by...we got a referral for two more children in December, and I got swept up in all the excitement, and then the holidays came. The surprise that I forgot something so important made me question what type of mom can I be to forget something SO IMPORTANT!!!! I could either get caught up in the self-pity, or just chalk it up as a learning experiene for the next time....I think I'll choose the latter.......

Most of the day Friday, I spent pulling together all the required documents and filling out the N-600. Around mid-morning, I called the 800 number for USCIS -- was told I needed to go in person to my local office. So I scheduled an appointment through INFOPASS, drove all the way to Charlotte today only to find out that you have to mail in the forms/required paperwork and wait for them to make an appointment for you to return with your child/ren for a swearing to tell the whole truth and nothing but the whole truth.....I was soooo aggravated..especially since I did my homework and called before I went. Then...if that's not enough (gotta love the Government) .....the list of documents required to file with the N-600 was more than what is listed on the USCIS website. Tonight or tomorrow, I'll have to go through all my official documents (marriage certs, birth certs, divorce certs, etc) for David and I and add to the pile of paperwork to mail in! Hopefully, someone will learn from this experience and not have to go through what I did.

Also, last week was a tough week for me. We are still waiting for a court date. Honestly, I never thought for one minute that we'd STILL be waiting for one at the end of January. It's been really hard.......so I caved to my emotions and emailed Mary T., our wonderfully fantastic caseworker. She called me back....I guess my email sounded a little desperate.....Here's what I found out through talking to Mary.

• It's taking 6 - 8 weeks to get a court date from the date you accepted your referral. This time is necessary to prepare your file for court. At this time, we are still waiting for a document(s) that is required for our file to be complete before they can request a court date. Your file must be complete before you can even submit it for a court date.

• Once submitted to the courts for a court date, it takes about a week and a half to get an actual court date. As of last week, our file had not been submitted for a court date, so we are probably a few more weeks out (arhghghghhghghghghghgh............).

• Court dates are being scheduled approximately 10 weeks out. Soooo,,,if you wait 8 weeks for a court date, count another 10 weeks for the actual court date. We are now looking into April for a court date. I'm praying that it's not April 8th, which is the 4th anniversary of my mom's death. I know it would be God's way of showing me I need to celebrate my mom's death, but honestly, I don't know if I'm there yet.......

• The reason why I was having a hard week last week was the email I received early last week from Christy letting me know she was unable to get any pictures of the kids for us. (Please know that I know this is not Christy's fault...she really tried hard to get me some pictures -- thank you Christy for all of your efforts!) Gladney put a new policy into effect for the protection of the children. Only families picking up children from the older childrens house will be allowed to visit -- that's the house with children from the ages of 2 - 11. Apparently, it's been really hard on the children, especially those that have not been matched with a family. I totally understand...and realize these children are very smart and aware of exactly what's going on. During our wait, we will have to rely totally on the updates from Gladney on our children.

For all of those families that did provide updates, comments and pictures of our children, we are incredibly grateful and cherish every one of them.

And today, totally unexpected.....I got an email from Mary with three new pictures and an update!!! You know I can't share the pictures, but here's the update:

"Big S wanted me to tell you that he can't wait to see you and that he wonders when you are coming. I asked him if he likes school and all the other kids said yes right away, then he smiled and said yes. He was happy to get a picture taken for you. Today is a holiday so he was off from school and dressed in the traditional Ethiopian clothes. Little S was sleeping when I got here this afternoon but when she woke up Big S got her for a picture. Little S is a cutie. She followed me around the other day saying nay, nay (come, come). She wanted to play hand games like the older kids were doing. I stopped and sat down and she proudly hit her hands against mine a few times. Big S and Little S are both doing well.”

So the clock ticks....and we wait...knowing their is a purpose in the wait......if only it was easier.........

Visiting with Blog Friends

Wow..what a day! Becca and her three beautiful children came to our house today for a visit! We had a great time!!! Meeting Becca in person is so much better than knowing her from her blog!

Sammy was a little irritable at first. Poor thing is teething! And Pickles is teething her 2 year molars, so we know all about that!!!

Now,,,,,isn't Leah beautiful!!!!

Leah & Pickles.........

Sammy & Pickles (don't know why the pictures is sideways -- it isn't on the camera card.

Beautiful Becca.................with the hair in motion look!

A wild and noisy moment...............

A calmer moment...food always calms them down!!!!

I love this one of Leah feeding meely worms to our Chinese Water Dragons, Lucas and Lucy. No pictures of the lizards -- sorry to disappoint you all!

The kids all got along really well, although it was really loud (but I like that!!). Today was preparing me for what it is going to be like when we bring Big S and Little S home! Whew...it's going to be crazy!

We had fun working on Sam's hair -- I gave Becca a lesson on what I had learned from Ms. Terri's website and Ms. Terri herself (she's an awesome resource!). Becca took the pictures of me working on Sammy's hair, so you'll have to check her website for those (I'm afraid to look!)

What I learned today:

1. My daughter is bossy!

2. Pickles did OK with kids her age playing with her toys. I was really afraid she'd have that "toddler meltdown" that is so famous at this age...but she didn't. I was really proud of her!

3. I love Becca.....she's even better in person!

4. Four kids under 5 in the house = chaos!!! Whew...but it was a blast!

5. I don't mind have a messy house when the kids are smiling and having fun!

6. If this is what being "a stay at home mom" is all about...I'm all for it!

Still NO COURT DATE>>>>>

Ugh...I'm getting really frustrated on the lack of activity on the court date....so much so that I sent an email to Mary with a list of questions of what could be holding us up from getting one!

My husband's face echos MY feelings...but not his.........he has the patience of Job.

And this is the wee bit of snow we got last night...Sad because we were hoping for more!!

Grandbaby G

Today, we had a surprise visit from David's daughter, Debby and her husband....and of course, beautiful Baby G. She's not quite 3 months old -- can you believe how big she is? That's what happens when you deliver a 9 lb baby (OUCH!!) without pain meds. Debby is now is my hero!!!!

Update ....Update......Update.....

A very rare picture of me, especially one without make-up on....ugh!


Anyway...an update from Gladney came yesterday...Surprisingly to me, I received another update from another family that just returned from Ethiopia!!!! Thank you so much Karen for this update:

"I wanted to let you know that I met both of your adorable children. Oh, they are SO precious.
Little S is just a wonderful, happy, energetic (yes, energetic!) girl. The caretakers love her. They told me she is so smart and acts like she is at least 4 years old. She is something special.

As for Big S, oh, what a doll. My husband, David, and I spent a lot of time with him. He is so personable, adorable, happy and just loving. He has a lot of friends there. He is so observant and quick thinking. The day after Christmas, Gladney took the older kids to an indoor amusement facility - kind of like a Chuck N Cheese -with games and a carousel. The kids all took a van there and it was in a local mall. I think Little S was too young to go, but we spent a lot of time with Big S - waving to him as he rode the rode the carousel, clapping when he won tickets at the skee ball. He is a ball of happy energy. We loved watching him have a blast. When the afternoon was over, the kids all got in a van and sang We Wish You a Merry Christmas and Row, Row Row your boat. Big S gave us extra kisses and hugs and we blew him kisses as the van drove away.

And Ryan's update is:

Little S is such a sweety. She was very attentive while the social
worker, Terhas, showed her your letter and explained the pictures to
her. She really seemed to understand what it was all about, and wore
an ear to ear grin the whole time. She is excited to meet you all
and join the family.

Big S was in school, so we are still waiting for an update from Ryan on him. Karen's update was more than enough to sustain us! Again, Karen,,,,thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Updates are really what keep you going in the post-referral stage. Life seems somewhat suspended...you know the clock is moving, but oh it feels like you can feel every second tick by. We've started a few new family traditions. Tuesday night is movie night. At least until daylight savings time and we can be outside more! Thursday night is now game night -- last Thursday we played my all-time favorite game....the game of LIFE!!!!

We still don't have a court date...but should hear something in the next few weeks. This is definitely a longer process than when we got Pickle's referral 18 months ago.

Still No Court Date - CAUTION: A Very Honest & Raw Post

Tomorrow will mark a month from when we received the referral for our Little S and Big S. Honestly, I'm going out of my mind waiting for a court date. I've been irritable, anxious, did I mention short-tempered? and definitely short on patience all week. I keep hoping for some type of update on my children, but still nothing. Knowing internet access is spotting in Africa right now really isn't providing me much comfort.

One would think that because this is our 2nd adoption, it would be easier. Honestly, up until this point it was pretty much a piece of cake. It's that "been there, done that" mentality. You know the drill, you know what to expect and you just ride the waves of ups and downs that come with international adoption. And I was pretty good up until this week. Maybe it's the post holiday blues, I don't know. All I know is that I want a court date and I want it now (shameful, isn't it?). I sound exactly like my 22 month old daughter but I have no excuse.

So we continue with our "nesting:" cleaning out the garage, the den making room for more toys, organzing the attics, the kids rooms, etc, etc. to help pass the time. I think I need something to keep me distracted....any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

God's So Good!

Every Christmas Day at noon, Squeeker goes to spend a week with his father, my ex-husband. It's usually a very long and difficult week for me. This year was different. Little Miss Drama Girl kept me very busy and on my toes. But not a day went by when she didn't ask "Where's Squeeker?" OK, she doesn't really call him Squeeker, but since I don't want to post my childrens' names on the blog, it'll have to do for now. It was the sweetest of moments when she would repeatedly ask "Where's Squeeker?" Finally, at noon on New Year's Day, we made the trip to Charlotte to pick him up. What an wonderful reunion -- they sat in back seat of the car, holding hands. My eyes welled up with tears. And later that day, all was quiet in the house and I honestly got a little nervous. I slowly walked into the den to find this amazing picture of my two beautiful children snuggling together. It was a priceless moment...one I'll remember always.

As we were embarking on our first adoption journey, I was filled with anxiety about all the unknowns with adoption. The fears were almost paralyzing. We were bombarded with "what are you crazy? Do you know how old you are?" and the list goes on and on. Maybe we are crazy from a secular standpoint,,,,,but it is moments like New Year's Day that brings me back to that moment when David and I chose to be obedient to God, not knowing what the future held for us, not knowing how Squeeker, practically an only child, would react to being an older brother. What we realized through this journey is this: when God is in control of your life, all things fall into place. This is not to say that all moments are as "nice" as this moment was, or that mothering is easy, because there are days when I wish Calgon could take me away. But the joy, and the peace we've experienced this past year has been abundant.

I can't talk about abundance without sharing our latest dilemna. David is a planner, especially financially. We had the money put away for our second adoption, but honestly, we were not counting on getting a referral for two children. So when that moment came on December 9th, and I started hyperventilating, and finally, weeks later when the reality of going from 2 children at home to 4 hit me, it was like, oh no, what are we going to do? How can we all travel to pick them up. We went through all the scenarios.......and the one that stuck for awhile was just David travelling. But God, always in control, intervened through another adoptive family. And another miracle occurred -- my neck was starting to heal at a more rapid rate and my mobility was increasing every day. I also got the go ahead from my chiropractor to travel!!! Whoeeee......a brief moment of joy. I would be there to pick up my children - to see the looks on their faces when they saw their new family for the first time. But what about Pickles and Squeeker -- we couldn't afford for Squeeker to go now that we had 4 plane tickets to buy. And who would watch them? We had no family living close. What to do...what to do.... ran through our minds. "Be still and know that I am God"....one of my favorite bible verses, kept running through my head. Be patient.......let God work. Whew...that is so hard for me. So I got on my knees and started praying....God find a way for us to travel with Squeeker and someone to watch Pickles for us while we are gone. And God did....to our surprise. Yet we doubt and hold onto world views and forget sometimes how big our God is. When it is God's will...He will find a way.

Yesterday, we went to a very upscale Charlotte jewelry store that buys gold and diamonds. I had a jewelry box full of gold that I hadn't worn in years. David and I weeded through what I wanted to keep......and what I couldn't bear getting rid of, like my mom's wedding rings. A million thoughts ran through my head .....could I sell it? would it bring enough for Squeeker's airfare? Yes.......exactly $11 more than what we needed for his airfare! Is God not awesome?????