Saturday, November 27, 2010

Black Friday - "The Hunt"

First, let me preface my comments by stating that I am NOT a shopper...at least not the typical one. I despise crowds, hate the markdown rack, and would prefer to shop online in the comfort of my home.

This has absolutely nothing to do with having 4 young children; I've always hated shopping. I guess I'm just not the typical woman. If I do have to shop, I'd much prefer to shop on my own; get in and get out, throw the bags in the truck and go home. I'm a woman on a mission when I have to shop. I'd rather be hiking than shop......GASP!

So, this year, I've watched with great interest the flurry of activity on Facebook regarding Black Friday preparation. I saw pictures of people perusing the "ads" on their coffee tables, floors, couches, etc., all on Thanksgiving Day. It's become an annual ritual for many.

I compare this ritual to that of men when they prepare to go off hunting...it's almost the same, yet with a different goal. The flurry of activity, anxiety and excitement as they countdown the days to Opening Day of hunting season. And then, BOOM, no pun intended, they take off in a flurry of excitement and anticipation. The results differ: the success of getting that Buck or Doe.....the success of getting that HD TV for $199.00 at Wal-Mart, etc. You get my drift.

But I find it interesting when we compare the process of "the hunt" between men and women. We, meaning women, complain that men just don't understand us, and vice versa. If we step back and observe, we are very much the same, but our desires and objectives are different. The process is exactly the same, but the outcome of success is defined by whether we got "the deal" or if they got "the buck or doe."

I guess what saddens me more than anything about Black Friday is the amount of energy and effort that goes into it, both emotionally and physically: the hours poured over newspaper advertisements, getting up at 3am. The only time I got up that early INTENTIONALLY was to nurse my son when he was an infant or to catch an early flight.

Please don't think I'm judging...I'm not. I'm just an observer. I'm fascinated by people and have always observed and analyze behaviors.

But I wonder......why don't we put this much energy into our Faith, into reading our Bible, into sharing the Gospel with others, into really doing something to help the plight of the orphans and widows. If each one of us put even half the effort into helping others, showing kindness, we could change the world.

Call me an optimist,,,,,yeah, maybe. But from a former pessimist, this is SUCCESS!


Wednesday, November 24, 2010

I was WRONG....

to think that holidays didn't matter to me anymore....

after many years of being the square peg trying to fit into someone's else's round hole, I was kind of indifferent towards holidays....

I was always the extra place set for dinner.....

the one with no place to go...............no family to call her own......the extra plate at dinner........

So I married David almost 7 years ago....

we've struggled to blend our families.....his, mine and ours through adoption.......each changed the dynamics of our family forever....

yet still trying to make it all fit.......and somehow trying to achieve "normal."

So.........in my complete selfishness, along with my non-nonchalant attitude towards the holidays, I picked a Women of Faith weekend (tickets already purchased) over sharing a Thanksgiving meal with my family intact.

And my dear husband David is thousands of miles away in the Philippines......

.....in a hotel room by himself.

I made a mistake....

In all these years of pretending that family didn't matter...

that I really didn't care about holidays...

I realized I was wrong.....

I am sad......

I am lonely....

I realized he really is my best friend......

After all these years of being fearful of letting anyone get too close, it happened without me even realizing it....

And now I care about holidays with my family...........

and I'm alone with my 4 children.....and they are all missing him....

and worst of all.....David is thousands of miles away....and he truly is alone. I have our children here with me....and the familiarity of our home........the one we've been building together for the past 7 years ........

and he is all alone......

not only was I wrong....

I was terribly wrong...........

Friday, November 19, 2010

To Be....or Not To Be....

Honestly, it's been awhile since I've really written from the heart. I am not one of those people that can sit down and just blurt out the events of my day. Mostly, my writings are inspired in the middle of the night by a knock in my brain from God. Lately, I haven't received any of those knocks.

So, I'm not really sure what or where this post is going to take us.

But I'll start here:

A bunch of us crazy women from church went to Women of Faith last weekend. What an incredible, God-filled weekend. Too many things to mention without boring you all to death. But I will touch on a few.

1) Orphans....Mr. Stearns, President of World Vision, spoke on Friday night....followed by a video from my favorite place in the world: Ethiopia. My friend Ellen, who I had to travel half way across the world to Ethiopia to meet, traveled from the coast of NC to WOF and was sitting next to me. Both of us have felt the pull of the plight of the orphans after spending time in Ethiopia. Yet to sit next to her and watch the video depicting scenes of Ethiopia with her right next to me, kind of brought me back....to the place my head and my heart longs to return to. Ethiopia on my mind.........

Mr. Stearns asked two important questions that night...both having to do with following the Will of God.....What will you do? he asked. "Whom shall I send......Send me!" I've prayed to God for many years now....it always seems to get me into trouble. Not real trouble, you know...just the kind of trouble you don't expect to see yourself in: over your head, out of your comfort zone, and in a place you don't know how to get out of by yourself. The place called FAITH.......real FAITH is trusting when you can't do anything else......

And most of you know I'm a Homeschooling Momma now...WAY OUT of my comfort zone and relying on FAITH everyday.......The Bible study we are doing with the boys had an interesting lesson a few weeks ago...OK, maybe it's a few month sago..I'm losing track of time (please don't tell me that's an age thing, I'm blaming it on being an older Mom to pre-schoolers...just let me go with this for awhile, ok???). It was about obedience..you know the word..the one every woman in America cringes at when mentioned. Well, all these years I thought I was being OBEDIENT by following God's will, but I wasn't....Oooh..shameful admission going on here.....

Obedience is following God's will for your life with a willing and loving heart.

Can you say:

O U C H ! ! ! ! ! !

Wowzer...that really hurt.......to be caught red-handed in a sin so blatant.......

I realized I was doing what I was suppose to be doing, like I've done all my life....but my heart wasn't in it. I still was arguing within myself to do what I wanted to do and why I felt I deserved it....I wasn't dying to self.....Ohhhhh.....now that one really hurt too.

My heart changed......my life changed........and my spirit has changed.......

Living a life of obedience from the heart is changing my life....

Good-bye, old friend.....

Hello Peace, Love, Joy.....

OK, OK, OK, ....I'm still working on Patience....

let's not push our luck! I still have a lifetime ahead of me........