Dethroning A Princess

We used to joke with our Gladney Social Worker Mary T. about "dethroning a princess" as we waited those long months to bring home Big and Little S. Little did we know that months later, we would be in the throws of just that. And to quote my sweet son: "let me tell you something"......... it isn't pretty.

See, we had a little princess floating and flitting around our house for approximately 19 months. And in Addis Ababa, the process of "making a princess" was taking place. We knew Miss Little S was quite the charmer: sweet, coy, an infectious laugh, and incredibly hugable. Sweet Pickles was just that....sweet....and good to the core. Ok,,,we had some terrible two moments, bu t basically she's been an easy child since we brought her home in November 2007. The girls hit it off immediately....almost like they were in the womb together. We marvelled at how seemless it seemed...like they had always been sisters. Oh, but wait......the honeymoon ended.

Fast forward a few months......time for the kids to start school; preschool for the little two "princesses" and AWANA on Sunday nights at church. Hence, the dethroning process began. Little Miss S began to realize that her ever so charming, sweet laugh and smile could melt the hearts of many again and she turned on the charm. And so it began.........

You can see the manipulation going on in her little head: hmmmmm.....Mommy isn't falling for my cute/pretty smile....she sees right through me. If she isn't going to give me what I want, I'm going to find someone who will. At a preschool field trip, she climbed into a complete stranger (man's) lap. She looked at me as if to say: "So...what are you going to do about that?"

It's a good think Mommy had some great training on adopting an older (than an infant) child because I saw right through the "charming" moments.

It began a few months ago when my dear friend, Ann, came to visit us from Connecticut. She manipulated my poor friend, completely clueless as to what was going on right under her nose. After a few of those moments, Ann caught on and quickly allied with me. Little Miss S was not a happy camper, you see, because IT WAS NOT WORKING like it was at preschool and Awana. I felt I constantly had to defend my position on what Little Miss S was allowed and not allowed to do. Mommy had become a Mommy with a lot of rules: no hugging anyone but Mommy, Daddy, Granny, Poppa, sister and brothers, among others. Little Miss S had to come to me or D
addy to get the attention she needed. And then the bad behavior started...and honestly, I can't and won't give affection to a child who is acting out in order to get it. We also put us in charge of when we are affectionate with her, not the other way around.

Little Miss S is not happy......

Her beautiful face has seen more frowns of late than those first few months.....

Little Miss S is trying everything she can to control the situation.....

emptying her bladder on purpose....

spitting at her brother....

kicking her brother.....all because she wanted me to tie her shoes, not him.

I could go on, but I know you can fill in the blanks.

I'm tired,,,,,,,

yet determined.....

I'm not happy of late,

but won't give up.

I want her to be pretty from the inside too, not just from the outside.

I want to see a good heart in her...

Dethroning a princess is hard work....

it goes against the norm...

it's uncomfortable....

it's constantly feeling like you have to defend yourself....

But love will prevail......into God's hands I have placed her....

The Great Physician will heal her heart.......her pain.....and her fears........

because forever I will be her Mommy.