Monday, August 24, 2009

Because I Am Broken


Because I am Broken......I am afraid

Because I am Broken.......I am angry

Because I am Broken.......I am frustrated

Because I am Broken.....I am resentful

Because I am Broken......I am bitter

Because I am Broken.......I am critical

Because I am Broken........I saw myself in him today......

I had to stop running.....

Because now I understand........

His anger is like my anger.....

His hurt is like my hurt...

The pain of abandonment........

The loss of everything he knew......

Why, God, he must ask? Everyone and everything he knew is gone......

They promised him everything would be OK in America.....

But it's not OK......

His heart still hurts.....

He is still so confused....

He doesn't understand so many things......

But then, he starts to trust.....and to smile.....and his eyes are so bright and shiny....

........

But then he pulls back....

And he is angry again.....really angry.

Why can't I play with that toy made for toddlers?

Why don't I have friends like big brother does?

Why do I have to go to that big, big school?

Why, I ask?

Because I am broken.......I finally see.......that he too, is broken.

That is our connection.....

That is our bond....

This is what we can hold on to.....

To move forward.

I love you little guy......my heart hurts too.

Together, yes together, we'll get through this......

I am so very sorry........my heart hurts for not understanding....

But now I do.....

As I held you while I cried today, my heart swelled with love for you.....

Will you forgive me?

Will you trust me?

..
..
..

Will you be my son?

4 comments:

Ernie said...

I love the way you write . Get's right to the core of what's going on with our kids. It's been pretty easy for us so far but still, your insight reminds me that his pain is in there somewhere.

Love to see you guys- i think ellen wrote.

Peace
Dave

coffeemom said...

I get it. I really do. Hang in there, you are not alone!!!! Love M

Dawn said...

May you both be overwhelmed with God's peace that is beyond all comprehension!

Karen said...

Robin, that was a beautiful piece of poetry. You show such an amazing strength, understanding and patience.

-K