To Be....or Not To Be....

Honestly, it's been awhile since I've really written from the heart. I am not one of those people that can sit down and just blurt out the events of my day. Mostly, my writings are inspired in the middle of the night by a knock in my brain from God. Lately, I haven't received any of those knocks.

So, I'm not really sure what or where this post is going to take us.

But I'll start here:

A bunch of us crazy women from church went to Women of Faith last weekend. What an incredible, God-filled weekend. Too many things to mention without boring you all to death. But I will touch on a few.

1) Orphans....Mr. Stearns, President of World Vision, spoke on Friday night....followed by a video from my favorite place in the world: Ethiopia. My friend Ellen, who I had to travel half way across the world to Ethiopia to meet, traveled from the coast of NC to WOF and was sitting next to me. Both of us have felt the pull of the plight of the orphans after spending time in Ethiopia. Yet to sit next to her and watch the video depicting scenes of Ethiopia with her right next to me, kind of brought me back....to the place my head and my heart longs to return to. Ethiopia on my mind.........

Mr. Stearns asked two important questions that night...both having to do with following the Will of God.....What will you do? he asked. "Whom shall I send......Send me!" I've prayed to God for many years now....it always seems to get me into trouble. Not real trouble, you know...just the kind of trouble you don't expect to see yourself in: over your head, out of your comfort zone, and in a place you don't know how to get out of by yourself. The place called FAITH.......real FAITH is trusting when you can't do anything else......

And most of you know I'm a Homeschooling Momma now...WAY OUT of my comfort zone and relying on FAITH everyday.......The Bible study we are doing with the boys had an interesting lesson a few weeks ago...OK, maybe it's a few month sago..I'm losing track of time (please don't tell me that's an age thing, I'm blaming it on being an older Mom to pre-schoolers...just let me go with this for awhile, ok???). It was about obedience..you know the word..the one every woman in America cringes at when mentioned. Well, all these years I thought I was being OBEDIENT by following God's will, but I wasn't....Oooh..shameful admission going on here.....

Obedience is following God's will for your life with a willing and loving heart.

Can you say:

O U C H ! ! ! ! ! !

Wowzer...that really hurt.......to be caught red-handed in a sin so blatant.......

I realized I was doing what I was suppose to be doing, like I've done all my life....but my heart wasn't in it. I still was arguing within myself to do what I wanted to do and why I felt I deserved it....I wasn't dying to self.....Ohhhhh.....now that one really hurt too.

My heart changed......my life changed........and my spirit has changed.......

Living a life of obedience from the heart is changing my life....

Good-bye, old friend.....

Hello Peace, Love, Joy.....

OK, OK, OK, ....I'm still working on Patience....

let's not push our luck! I still have a lifetime ahead of me........