We should be holding Pickles now...

Today has been a difficult day. Actually, the past four days have been really hard. To briefly catch up, we received a referral for a 4 1/2 month old little girl named "Pickles" on July 31st. Our court date was miraculously set for August 3rd -- the last day of court before the 7 week closure due to rainy season. What a high we were on when we got the call in the afternoon saying we were approved by the court and we were officially Pickle's parents. We celebrated by going shopping (what else???) and buying her clothes and other "baby stuff" we needed for our trip.

Monday, the phone call came from Mary T. at Gladney saying there was a mistake in the paperwork and we would have to wait until the courts reopened on September 25th to resolve the paperwork problem. In the chaos of trying to get through before the court closure, our last name was typed (??) incorrectly on the official adoption contract. The next few days were a roller coaster of emotions. We were able to petitition the judge "on-call" during court closure to hear our case. We were so confident that God was going to work this all out, because His hand had been on the adoption from the very beginning. I woke up at 3:15 am. Thursday morning feeling my shoulder being shaken, with someone telling me: "Robin, wake up, you need to pray." Of course, I did what any other wife would do, and I woke up David. We started praying and prayed for almost an hour that God will touch the heart of the judge to fix the document so we could travel as planned on August 21st. Even though Mary T. said not to expect to hear anything until the following Thurday, I knew in my heart that Mary would call with some sort of news. The call did come in the afternoon, telling us that the judge on-call heard the case and cannot do anything about it until the courts re-opened. We were crushed. I feel like the rug got pulled out from us. WHY??? I kept asking myself. WHY God???? WHY now when we've felt your presence during the entire adoption process???? We may never know why, but I am trying to keep my eyes focused on above, praying without ceasing, that when the courts reopen in September, it will be a simple fix and we'll travel in October to get our beautiful daughter.

Originally, her name was going to be Evangeline Grace. Evangeline was my maternal grandmother, Grace was David's aunt's name. It just seemed to work (ok, maybe more for me than for David.) When we saw the picture of Pickleson July 31st, I knew in my heart that she was our daugher. I agonized for years over whether I could love a child that I did not birth. All those fears slid away as if they never existed. That moment I laid eyes on her beautiful face, my heart swelled with love. Edilawit's bio mother named her. On Wednesday, August 1st, both David and I woke up knowing in our hearts that her name was Pickles. How could we change it --- it is all she has from her birth mom.

So, Pickes it is. I'm going to call something different. David and Squeeker have already named her Dill Pickles. Leave it to them to come up with a name like that!!!

Well, that's all for now. I have to finish dinner and get ready for church. I'm praying that God will grant me some peace as we wait until September, as my heart breaks today for the child I should be holding at this moment.