Sunday, October 14, 2007

"Being Real"

God has really been working on me this week. I don't know how else to put it. Blunt, I am blunt. That is who I am. I pray for "tact," sometimes it comes, sometimes it doesn't. I'm going to try and be tactful, but I may not be able to in order to share with you what God has done in my life this week. So, here goes.....

"And we, who with unveiled (real, transparent) faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory; which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."
2 Corinithians 3:18 (NIV)
This was the bible verse from an online devotion that was in my email on Friday. On Wednesday, I wrote this in an email to a friend from church:
"Being vulnerable is one of those things that God has been working on me during the past few months. I'm not good at letting people see how truly vulnerable I am. Most people think I've got it all together, but I hide it well through years of practice. I so desperately want to hide my feelings so that I don't get hurt, and people misunderstand and judge me. yet our wonderful, awesome and loving God wants me to be real, to be transparent, and I'm really struggling with letting go of the control."
I then went on to explain that Squeeker and I played hookie from church because I just couldn't face the questions of what was going on with the adoption and having to explain yet another delay. This was my next paragraph:
God spoke to me last night through Squeeker. We hung out at home, watched a movie in bed (which is a BIG TREAT at our house), ate junk food for dinner (also a big no-no!) and he got to take a bath in "mommy's jacuzzi." We laughed, we cried and we spent time together, just the two of us. I realized how much I was missing "the moment" by worrying about "WHEN" the adoption was going to move foward. It was definitely one of those "ah-ha" moments. But there has been so many "ah-ha" moments these past few months. Our marriage is stronger than ever, we are ministering to a couple in crisis, we are developing friendships with other "adoption blog families," but probably the most important, people got to see the "real" side of David and Robin, the side only God has seen up to this point. No, it hasn't been easy, my heart is breaking to hold her, but somewhere in this journey, there is yet another testimony that God wants us to share with someone, someday."
So friends, I've been trying to "be real" this week. Friday evening I attended a women's conference that I really did not want to go to. I forced myself to go telling myself that I needed to. It's always in these circumstances that I have a "God moment." This evening was no exception. The speaker was a local pastor's wife who grew up "on the wrong side of the tracks." We talked extensively about "being real" and my fears of being judged. She told me, quite bluntly, that I needed to get over it because I was going to be judged NO MATTER what I did. Do I want to be obedient to God and be judged or be judged anyway? Well, when you put it that way, what matters is my obedience to God, not what anyone else thinks about me.
In Sunday School this morning I read part of the devotion that referenced the above bible verse. It went lke this:
"I was sitting in Sunday School listening to prayer requests being mentioned. Prayer needs varied -- someone's neighbors were having marital problems; a co-worker was having problems with her boss; a friend whose child was being rebellious; a family member's health issues. A few were personal requests such as an important decision about work, a scheduled surgery, and safe travels for vacation. All the prayer requests were valid and prayer-worthy, but I started to wonder if we were really being real with one another. Why were we not asking for prayers for our own struggles - our own marriage struggles, our own children, or our own challenges in living a Christ-like life?"
Then I got real with my Sunday School class, and I mean really real. And it opened the floodgates. I won't go into specifics, because I don't believe in sharing details shared in Sunday School, but it was a special moment of sharing our concerns, our pain, and our tears and really feeling the presence of the Lord in our midst.
Being real isn't easy; it takes courage. The rewards are great if we are willing to step out on faith. Are you willing?


The Fournet Family said...

What great insight! I fully agree that the Lord wants us to share each others burdens in an authentic way! Good for you encouraging others to do so. Congratulations on your beautiful daughter. I'll be praying you are with her soon.

The Breedlove family said...

Thanks for being real Robin! I had an ah-ha moment yesterday too. Those moments certainly are not easy to accept or even process...but they are what they are. They are moments when we realize that our lives are brief and that moments should be treasured. Thanks for your deep insight and your honesty. I will be thinking of you this week! Amy

Dawn Sacre said...

You totally made me cry! :-) I love what you said and I cannot tell you how much I 'feel' what you said. Thank you. I needed that.

Drew Carey Show said...

I think you and I are cut from the same cloth.=) It will be fun traveling with you! ONE day until we know!!! I'm praying we'll be celebrating together tomorrow!!!

Eileen and Jerry Mestas said...

Now I know why Mary T. at Gladney said we should get together. The Lord brought me to the cross several years ago at a homeschool conference. Mark Hamby stood on the stage like he was hanging on the cross and shared an awesome testimony. The message was all about when we live like we are on the cross...we can not hide real. So, AMEN SISTA!!! If we are real and transparent the LORD can use us so much more because we don't get in His way with all the baggage. Blessings to you!

The Breedlove family said...

It is Thursday at 9:45 in the morning and I just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you. I know that you are anticipating the call about the court date. I can not wait to hear how things went. Post something as soon as you know. Blessings, Amy