Heavy Burden

With Thanksgiving upon us, I've been reflecting back on this most difficult year and trying very hard to focus on what I'm thankful for. With the economy in a tailspin, layoffs everywhere, I can only be on my knees praying, and looking up for an answer. I know that sounds dreary, and depressing, but when you are married to the one who has to make the hard decisions about laying someone off, especially someone you are friends with, it puts a whole new spin on it.

My heart is breaking for those that have lost their jobs, especially those that are close to us. I'm sure we haven't seen or heard the last of the layoffs in the economic state we are currently in, it is just so unfortunate that it has to come during the holiday season.

For us, the holiday season is our slowest.....where cash flow is tighter than normal....and making payroll every week is a struggle. And sometimes, sometimes, you have to choose between making a hard choice, or closing your company completely. I'm not cut out to be a small business owner's wife...I've said it more and more and more these last few weeks as I've watched the stock market tumble, jobless numbers increase, and an economy that is incredibly unstable. Yesterday, an older man came into our office wanting to apply for a job -- I had to tell him we had a lay off last Friday. The look on his face and his body language was heart breaking......it was like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

I almost feel guilty for being thankful, but I am truly thankful for many things:

• My incredible husband, David, who came through for me in a big way this year! I love you more than life itself sweetie!
• For my two incredible children, Squeeker and Pickles. This year has been a year of challenges and adjustments, and to see the bond between them makes my heart jump a beat.
• For my friends......those current and those from the past -- all who have shaped me to be the woman I am today.
• Of course, for my faith, and my Heavenly Father -- who loves me unconditionally and continues to sustain us, against all odds!
• My home that I love to return to at the end of each day. I've never had a house that felt like a home to me....and this one truly is my home......my sanctuary.......where I can rejuvenate and feel peace rain over me.
• My husband's company, although I have a love/hate relationship with owning a business, which continues to sustain us, even in the hard times. (but not without it's own struggles)
• Freedom....and for what our country stands for......let's pray that our freedom is never taken away from us.

I wish all my friends and family a wonderful and joyous Thanksgiving!