Saturday, January 3, 2009

God's So Good!












Every Christmas Day at noon, Squeeker goes to spend a week with his father, my ex-husband. It's usually a very long and difficult week for me. This year was different. Little Miss Drama Girl kept me very busy and on my toes. But not a day went by when she didn't ask "Where's Squeeker?" OK, she doesn't really call him Squeeker, but since I don't want to post my childrens' names on the blog, it'll have to do for now. It was the sweetest of moments when she would repeatedly ask "Where's Squeeker?" Finally, at noon on New Year's Day, we made the trip to Charlotte to pick him up. What an wonderful reunion -- they sat in back seat of the car, holding hands. My eyes welled up with tears. And later that day, all was quiet in the house and I honestly got a little nervous. I slowly walked into the den to find this amazing picture of my two beautiful children snuggling together. It was a priceless moment...one I'll remember always.

As we were embarking on our first adoption journey, I was filled with anxiety about all the unknowns with adoption. The fears were almost paralyzing. We were bombarded with "what are you crazy? Do you know how old you are?" and the list goes on and on. Maybe we are crazy from a secular standpoint,,,,,but it is moments like New Year's Day that brings me back to that moment when David and I chose to be obedient to God, not knowing what the future held for us, not knowing how Squeeker, practically an only child, would react to being an older brother. What we realized through this journey is this: when God is in control of your life, all things fall into place. This is not to say that all moments are as "nice" as this moment was, or that mothering is easy, because there are days when I wish Calgon could take me away. But the joy, and the peace we've experienced this past year has been abundant.

I can't talk about abundance without sharing our latest dilemna. David is a planner, especially financially. We had the money put away for our second adoption, but honestly, we were not counting on getting a referral for two children. So when that moment came on December 9th, and I started hyperventilating, and finally, weeks later when the reality of going from 2 children at home to 4 hit me, it was like, oh no, what are we going to do? How can we all travel to pick them up. We went through all the scenarios.......and the one that stuck for awhile was just David travelling. But God, always in control, intervened through another adoptive family. And another miracle occurred -- my neck was starting to heal at a more rapid rate and my mobility was increasing every day. I also got the go ahead from my chiropractor to travel!!! Whoeeee......a brief moment of joy. I would be there to pick up my children - to see the looks on their faces when they saw their new family for the first time. But what about Pickles and Squeeker -- we couldn't afford for Squeeker to go now that we had 4 plane tickets to buy. And who would watch them? We had no family living close. What to do...what to do.... ran through our minds. "Be still and know that I am God"....one of my favorite bible verses, kept running through my head. Be patient.......let God work. Whew...that is so hard for me. So I got on my knees and started praying....God find a way for us to travel with Squeeker and someone to watch Pickles for us while we are gone. And God did....to our surprise. Yet we doubt and hold onto world views and forget sometimes how big our God is. When it is God's will...He will find a way.

Yesterday, we went to a very upscale Charlotte jewelry store that buys gold and diamonds. I had a jewelry box full of gold that I hadn't worn in years. David and I weeded through what I wanted to keep......and what I couldn't bear getting rid of, like my mom's wedding rings. A million thoughts ran through my head .....could I sell it? would it bring enough for Squeeker's airfare? Yes.......exactly $11 more than what we needed for his airfare! Is God not awesome?????

5 comments:

My3Monkeys said...

What a wonderfully sweet photo! I am glad you all were able to work everything out so that you and Squeaker could go along! Now bring on that court date....

The Albertsons said...

wonderful story, friend.
Very encouraging to this heart, and to many more, I'm sure.
beautiful... and I'm so glad for you!
becca

Monica said...

So glad that God provided for you to take Squeaker with you. What a blessing!

Jim and Debbie said...

You're right...God is so awesome!!
I am so thrilled for you all and wish you the very best. We are considering a second adoption now, and your words are truly encouraging. All things are possible with God!
Best wishes,
Debbie

Dawn said...

This just warms my heart! God loves us so much that he does give us the desires of our hearts when our hearts are aligned with his! These children are so precious to Him that He gave them to YOU! You are precious in His sight and He calles you blessed!