Friday, March 6, 2009

Delays....Delays....Delays....UPDATED.....

I wasn't going to post today...or tomorrow.....or the next day until we got a court date. But I must confess, after reading the Fournet's blog and Becca's blog this morning, I was convicted to document our journey through this second adoption......even the moments where the struggle is the most intense, and the emotions are crashing like a tsunami wave.

For the record...I just want everyone to know that I just adore Becca and her courage to be real.....Becca...you are my hero! I'm still afraid of what people will think...or what they'll think, or worse...that they will judge me for being real. So Becca....this one's for you! Thank you for your inspiration!

And to dear Natalie.......Natalie.....my heart is breaking for you as mine is breaking for my own children still waiting. I know your wait is longer...and has been more agonizing...but I do feel your anquish......and I understand...truly understand your pain.

Mary called yesterday afternoon with some relatively good news. But to me....I could only see an additional two to three weeks delay in obtaining a court date. I need that court date...I need sometime tangible to hold on to......I need a date to post on the calendar to work towards. And yesterday.....when I knew it would be another few weeks before I would have that date,,,,I lost it...and sobbed on the phone to Mary. I've been holding it in for weeks, and yesterday was just more than I could bear.....so I sobbed.....and sobbed....and sobbed.

And today, I'm moving on. Today is my sweet Drama Girl, aka Pickle's 2nd birthday. Today, she'll have cute little cupcakes....today we sang her Happy Birthday and are telling EVERYONE it's her birthday!! Today.....is her day! In the car this morning, she sang her own version of Jesus Loves Me...it went like this:

Mommy loves me, this I know....for the Bible tells me so.

Squeeker loves me, this I know....for the bible tells me so.

Repeat....repeat....repeat....repeat....repeat....

My heart melted.....and just a tiny bit of my heart healed this morning.

Tonight, my sweet husband, Pickles and I are heading out for a short birthday-bash weekend in Charleston, SC. Thank goodness for Hilton points and 80 degree weather coming our way!

But before that, I am treating myself to a much needed massage to help relax my muscles and my nerves.

For today......there is a glimmer of hope....I'm coming out of the darkness and can see a sliver of light at the end of tunnel.....God promises us in Psalms 23......."Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me." These last few weeks there has only been one set of Footprints, because God has been carrying me.

Update:

A mere five minutes of breathing lavender.....a mere five minutes of hot packs relaxing the tense muscles in my back......a mere five minutes of tranquility. I'm starting to relax....I'm starting to breath.........A knock on the door...there is an emergency......Pickles is running a fever of 103.7 and David is in the middle of running a big load of moulding through the moulder. My head crashes against the head rest in defeat......are there breaks for me in this life lately????? Honestly, I cannot take much more. Around ever corner, Satan seems to be lurking....trying to break me...but he can't win......he cannot win. I am a child of God and he will not win.

6 comments:

Natalie Fournet said...

Have a happy birthday weekend...fun! Sorry for the delays....I know it is so hard!

The Albertsons said...

GIRL... You will make it. You can do it. Your sweetie may be sick but she'll be okay. I'm praying for you and for her right now. Go get her checked out and then alternate the motrin and tylenol. Kids bounce back so fast. Give her lots of fluids. Still go on your trip if it's just a virus. She'll be able to sleep and relax in the car and the beach heals every ailment, I'm certain :).
love you friend. sending lots of love and support your way. email/call if you need anything!!!
becca

LoveNotes4CocoPrincess said...

Happy Birthday Pickles...hope you feel better tomorrow.

Hang in that EvangelineGrace---We're still thinking about you and praying for you---don't give up nor give in---the papers needed will make it's way to the courts!

My3Monkeys said...

Robin, I am so sorry for everything you are going through right now. I am glad you are blogging it.

Happy Birthday to Pickles. I hope she is feeling better now.

Jen said...

Thank you for your kind comments... you are so right that it gets harder and we have only just begun. You are so much further along. We will be praying for you and your court date.

Kristy -Mom To 6 Blessings said...

Hi Robin,
You post pains me so much...it's those doggone delays that will make you go officially nuts! I have never felt so unstable in my life than when we got held up waiting on our girls with no end in sight! ACK! I am so sorry that this has happened X2 for you! I hope that your family enjoyed Charleston. That is where I am from! :-)
Blessings,
Kristy