Saturday, May 23, 2009

2 Court Dates.......The Aftermath

Honestly, I never saw myself writing this post. I had the pictures of my two beautiful Ethiopian children all queued up and ready to post to the world. So what ask?

Thursday, I took the day off to paint the girls' room. It had to be done and I might as well do something constructive while I waited for the call. The call came earlier than expected...around 11:30 EST. I knew immediately from the tone of Mary's voice that is was not the news we had expected. Yet the news wasn't totally bad. The birth father did not show up for court; Gladney sent someone to locate him and our court date was rescheduled for the following day, Friday. Ok,,,,,,another 24 hours: we could handle that. Honestly, we thought Friday was just a formality. Boy, were we wrong.......................

On Friday, instead of taking another day off, I decided to go to work with my husband so that we could celebrate the good news together. The morning dragged on; anxiety kicked in at a high speed and we jumped everytime the phone rang. At approximately 12:30, my cell phone rang. Immediately, I knew it was bad news. I felt like a deflated balloon....limp and in shock. Which later turned to anger.

In a nutshell, without disclosing too much information, the birth father did not satisfactorily answer the Judge's questions surrounded the paternity of his children. In the Judge's defense, I have to admire her for her courage to stand up and say that she need additional information regarding our childrens' parentage. Ethiopian and its people continue to surprise me with their integrity and always putting the best interests of the child at first.

Some of you will be angry at that statement, but let me explain. What are the best interests of the child(ren)? If we are to be totally honest with one another, we would say to be with their birth parents. That's how the Social Services system works here in our country too. The best interest of any orphan would be to stay with relatives, preferably their parents, in their own country and culture. Yet, we all know that life is not always a bowl of cherries. It's ugly, painful and not always what it appears to be. Life is hard. When we take off the rose colored glasses, we see despair from overwhelming poverty that pictures can never fully capture. Engaging all 5 senses is how I feel you need to experience poverty first hand to truly grasp how desperate these parents feel. International adoption is a final offering of love from the birth parents in an effort to do whatever it takes to give their children the chance for a better life. In some cases, it is the only chance for LIFE!

So today, I sit here, sad and depressed....and let's not forget frustrated and angry. This has been a long road for us.....Six deaths in our family in 18 months; ongoing delays in our adoption, uncertainty for what the future holds for us. Is God calling us to the mission field? Yes, we believe He is. I won't disclose more than that right now as the details are still not clear to us. But David and I both believe that God is preparing us for something bigger. He equips the called, He does not call the equipped. Nothing in our life has been easy...smooth sailing is not a description we would ever use to describe our life. Robert Frost's poem "The Road Less Travelled" can explain our life, but mostly, it wasn't what we chose for ourselves. It was the path God chose for us. God does have a purpose in this delay, and although I do not understand why, I am comforted in knowing He is right here beside me, holding me as I cry, as I struggle with an unquenchable desire to hold my children and tell them I love them.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller,
long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood,
and I-- I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference...
Robert Frost


Ellen said...

Robin, what a beautiful post filled with God's comfort and such honesty in the midst of your pain. I pray everything comes together for June 11.


LoveNotes4CocoPrincess said...

Robin, I am in awe of the Christ Jesus that dwells in you! I wanted so desperately for you to have passed court so that our lives could have touched, if only for a brief moment; however I see that is not what the LORD has planned. I still want to met you and your family and I still petition before the LORD for that chance-meeting.

In the meantime, I pray you an abundance of JOY that overflows as you continue to prepare the girls' room. Fill their room with praises and worship songs because GOD is not only Almighty, HE is faithful to HIS promises!

Tonia said...

you are beautiful, strong and God are everything you need to be to mother these children and God's plan is perfect...I often find myself asking him how much longer daddy?'

you are so much stronger than you will ever know and I put you on a pedestal mama :)

The Albertsons said...

sending you so many hugs. I'm just reading this now. Friend, you know the Truth and all that it entails. As you said, it's not always easy. The best thing about this life is not that it lacks struggle... it's the people we are surrounded by as we go through the struggles. I hope you feel the love and support from so many who know you and who truly understand the special path of adoption that you have been set apart for. This is a mission field all by itself! Right?!?!?!?
love love love to you sweet Robin. I so wish I could come in person soon... maybe towards the end of June??? We'll plan a date :).

Robin said...

Sweet Becca:

Love you too sweetie! Hope you had a wonderful weekend at the beach, in spite of all the rain!

You are absolutey right. Sunday at church, i walked the isle during invitation time and was immediately flooded with dear, sweet friends that surrounded me and prayed to our heavenly Father on my behalf. I was incredibly humbled by the outpouring of love, not just in our church, but within the Blog families that have sent me personal emails....To all of you out there...from the bottom of my heart...Thank you..thank you.....This truly is a remarkable journey.

Dawn said...

I so would love to know your whole story since high school. God had done and is continuing His work in you and I just wish Pete & I lived closer so that we could share our lives in person.
Do know there are so many thoughts and prayers being said by so many on your behalf.

The Roberts Family said...

just now catching up on blogs. LOVE YOU, dear friend!!!! Will continue praying! Blessings, Shelly