Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Less than 48 Hours.......

And I'm feeling a mix of emotions. Excitement; of course. That is the obvious emotion. I am beyond excited. Yet part of me is really struggling with some other emotions that I didn't quite anticipate.

I thought I'd be OK leaving Sweet Pickles home. I rationalized how taking a 2 year old on a 17 hour flight was nothing short of insane. And I still believe that. We really need that time in country to bond to Big & Little S. But I'm really not OK leaving her. I have an enormous amount of peace with whom we chose to watch her while we are gone, yet we'll be gone SOOOO long. Wow..I've never left her overnight before and now I'm starting to freak out a bit. I remember the first time Squeeker stayed overnight with my ex. I was a total wreck, but at least in the same State! A million things are running through my head at once. I know I'll be OK once we are in the air, but between now and then my emotions are getting the best of me. For instance, Sweet Pickles is very verbal for her age. She said this to me this morning: "Momma....I love you." I responded: "I love you too!" Then she says: "I love you MORE!" with this big grin on her face. I just melted. Then, later, she threw a banana at her brother in the car on the way to summer camp. So sweet one moment, and then so TWO the next!

Thankfully, I spoke to Amy at Gladney this morning, and she gave me some great suggestions on how to make it easier for her while we are gone. I'd be delusional to think this separation will be EASY....I'm just trying to make it as easy on her as I can. I'm a big girl...I can work through my issues of being away from her that long. She's little.....and will probably be confused, regardless of how much prep work we've done to prepare her for our departure.

Maybe I'm just worrying about nothing.....she could have SOOOO much fun at Uncle Curtis & Aunt Adrienne's house that she won't even know we are gone!

We are as prepared as we can be for this emotional journey. Leaving our youngest behind, returning again to Africa, where I left a piece of my heart in Nov. 2007, and meeting Big & Little S's birth parent. All so very overwhelming at the moment.

7 comments:

The Albertsons said...

you know you are in my prayers. so are all your children! pickles will be fine... she's at a good age, you know? the first night or 2 might be hard but then she'll get into a groove and have a great time! it's usually ME who has a much harder time than my children :).
sending you all my love!!!!! woooohoooo!!!!
(PLEASE try to update the blog at least once. i'm begging, friend :).

My3Monkeys said...

Robin,

I am in Pittsburgh and I meant to call you before I left. You are in my thoughts. Pickles will do great and so will you mama!! I know what you mean though, this is my first time ever away from my kiddos and it is killing me!!

Fly safe and call when you get home.

Big Hugs!!

Journey to Jaden said...

Have the most wonderful time!! You must be sooo filled with hoy... I can't wait to hear your stories!!

Nikki said...

Hey Robin,

This may not offer one bit of comfort, but... I kept my niece for a week, she's 2 1/2, and never missed her mommy or daddy once ! We had a ball. And then when they came home, she ran to them and loved all over them. Pickles will be great, and you will, too!

Have fun!

pat2006 said...

I'm right there with you! I'm so nervous leaving Addison at home, although she'll be with her doting father. I've never spent a night apart from her and the thought that she won't fully understand why I'm not there makes me crazy with sadness. I know she'll be just fine, but it's soooo hard leaving her.

Karen said...

Robin,

We wish you a most wonderful trip. I am so excited for you!

It is really tough leaving children at home. We had to leave our 3 year old son - who is also very verbal and attached to me. We were so nervous about leaving him, as we had never been away from him before. But, every night we called him and he was doing great. Kids are so resilient and you know, you will be back before you know it. The time in ET flies by.

-Karen

Audra said...

I know it is hard to leave her! I hated leaving my babies. They were only 1 1/2. But they did well and have fun and enjoy your journey!